Dear Muse…Where the Hell Are You?

Dear Muse,
I just want to say that I am really looking forward to our work today. I have quite a number of amazing ideas I want to run by you and get working on. I think they have the potential to be some of my best stuff. As soon as you get here we’ll start crackin’. This is going to be off the hook!

I stepped away from my desk for a while to grab a bite to eat and read a few magazines. Hey, have you read the latest issues of Wired, Fast Company and Filmmaker magazines lately? Some really good stuff in there. Gave me some more ideas. Just need my old partner to get her little butt over here so we can make some magic. Yeah, that would be you.

I just finished watching Zacuto’s Critics, all 39 episodes of FilmFellas, the IFC channel, seventeen movie trailers, “Waiting for Guffman,” “The Big Picture,” “The Player,” all the bonus features on disc 2 of the “Social Network” Collector’s DVD set (twice), two-thirds of Fellini’s “8-1/2″, and all the opening scenes to Quentin Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Kill Bill: Book 1″ and a bootleg company of “Inglorious Bastards.” I still have not found you. I’m really getting worried now. Are you okay?

Dear Muse,
Okay. My concern has just turned into anger. I just spent God knows how long watching six StillMotion videos, three Kevin Shahinian films, the collected shorts of Whitestone Motion Picutres, Jesse Rosten’s latest short, Kirby Ferguson’s “Everything is a Remix,” the good finalist entries in the Beyond the Still contest, and all the films in the “California is a Place” series (except that one about the guy who makes the life-sized sex dolls. That’s just creepy). Clearly you ARE actually working, just not with ME! WTF!

I would like to point you to paragraph 3, of section XIV, sub-section 8.3 of our binding agreement that expressly states that you will work with me to create works of art that will inspire, encourage and entertain all who view it. That you will instill within me a sense of purpose and confidence. I don’t want to have to go “Boston Legal” on your a$$, but I will if I have to. I expect you to hold up to your agreement!

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